I entered gaming the way many women do, from the outside. I went to e league matches with friends, cheered at DreamHack events with coworkers, and watched Mario Kart races from the sidelines. I loved the energy and the community, but gaming felt like a world that assumed prior knowledge. Controls, language, and pace all seemed designed for people who already knew how to play. Growing up without shared gaming experiences, and navigating neurodivergence and dyslexia, I learned early to observe rather than participate. So I stayed on the sidelines, interested but unsure where I fit.
Stepping Into the Game
That changed when I finally decided to stop watching and start playing. I cautiously stepped in by buying a PS5 to play Hogwarts Legacy, and honestly I was hooked. The storytelling, the visuals, the sense of immersion felt magical. There was just one problem. I hadn’t held a controller since the N64 era, and picking one up again felt completely foreign. My hands remembered something but not enough.
Relearning the Basics
That discomfort sparked a bigger shift. I started thinking about PCs.
I’d been a lifelong Mac user, so switching to Windows felt like learning an entirely new language. It took hours just to figure out the basics. There were moments where I felt deeply behind like the tech world had quietly moved on without me. But slowly, piece by piece, things began to click. Muscle memory formed. Confidence followed.
Finding Community Through Play
Then came Steam and Discord.
The first time I opened Discord was to join a D&D and RPG group, and I was completely lost. Servers. Channels. Voice rooms. None of it made sense. But once I got past the initial confusion, something shifted. Logging in, joining a server, and seeing familiar names felt grounding. It felt social but on my terms.
I’ve always had social anxiety, and gaming gave me a surprisingly gentle entry point. There was always something to talk about. Not small talk but shared context. Instead of let’s get coffee sometime, it became how’s your Dark Urge run in BG3 going. That difference mattered.
Learning the Language
As I spent more time in the space, the language started to make sense. WASD stopped looking like random letters. Boss fights developed a rhythm. I wasn’t just playing games. I was understanding them.
Sharing the Experience
Eventually, in a move that still surprises me, I started streaming.
Streaming came with its own learning curve, but it was exhilarating. I got to share the full experience. The wins, the confusion, the chaos, and the slow, satisfying progress. It wasn’t about being good. It was about being present and curious.
What I Took With Me
Gaming has a steep learning curve, and for women especially, it can feel like you’re fighting just to stay in the room. But looking back, I’m grateful I pushed through the awkwardness. I went from feeling like an outsider to finding genuine connection in a community I once thought wasn’t for me.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this. You don’t need to start confident. Start curious. Fumble. Ask questions. Get lost. Keep playing.
It’s worth every awkward moment.